tomatoeshoes and indigo sessions

Good Morning Baby

A text message was sent to me: A law student once asked God..."why love comes so unexpectedly and leaves so suddenly but the efects are borne eternally...He answered..Because like domicile..love, when established, shall never cease to exist...when there is no intent to abandon.."

Yes. even if law students are perceived to be tough and serious, they are also human. Yes, we are also human. Who get hurt when people lie to us. Who cries when we miss someone so much. Who pretend that we are okay and bury our noses in our books when everything seems to crumble inside. I guess torture inside the classrooms by our terrorist teachers are a lil bit better than being hurt. Even if in both situations we emerge scathed, i prefer the classroom than an emotional breakdown anytime.

Ignorantia legis non excusat. Ignorance of the law excuses no one. And so is the law on emotions. Just because you fell in love or you risked your heart to somebody who haven't reciprocated your feelings, you cannot blame anybody for all the damages that has been done. Afterall, they say, know the rules before you play the game...True.

I beg to differ to those doomed romantics that falling in love is magical and way out of your control. Yes, I agree that you cannot control your feelings. But you can be prevented from getting hurt further if all tactics fail. You have to know the person and background...if he is free to hook up with you or just playing with your feelings...But if you want to play ahead without any rules on damages in case of heartache or restitution or reparation in cases of unfortuitous events of break-ups or of two-timing or cheating, then go ahead. Be my guest. I will not hinder you from doing so. Just make sure you come out alive and whole.

Im just tired of playing games. Of fleeting moments which leave you cold. I just want somebody to hold my hand firmly, even for a period of time..and tell me everything will be okay.

In the words of Bic Rungga and Dan Wilson..'' good morning baby i hope im gonna make it through another day''.

war of the words

its been eons since i posted my thoughts. A lot have happened. The weight of the world is getting heavier each day. And i thought that living in the new era, discrimination would somehow be lost over the mantra of a university being "men and women for others" in this so called high quality education we are all paying shitloads for. BUt i guess I was dead wrong....

Being the new editor-in-chief of the publication, the pressure and the class struggle between the students and administration is a clear example of what we eternally quest for...justice. The student affairs coordinator is doing everything she can not to let me do my obligations and duties to the students. She is determined not to let me take-over the position...is she afraid of something?

Her interference is the start of the trend of campus press repression. I just wish that she would study first before attacking someone. A simple provision of the constitution would clearly put her in place (think: CJA ACT of 1991)...or maybe she doent know how to read...

Couldnt put words clearly...need to get away for a while from the real world..

snooooooozzzzzzzzz...

Im always happy when it rains

Rainy days are expedcted ahead..im back in my hometown and im feeling drenched here. drenched with memories of cebu. memories of adventures. island godess rain-drenched in the city...i miss my life in the happy hippy island of cebu..but yes..reality bites.

mid-life crisis here... hafta think of what i should do. for my future...sun will shine again...

Sagada will just have to wait...

Dazed, Sad and Confused

Im in so much pain right now. Heart wasted to a pulp. Twice I was made to believe that my affections have been reciprocated. Still, it is the same all over again. It was just a joke. a prank. an unexplained experiment in which he conducted to see if i was indeed capable of feeling love. I am only human. I am not as high and mighty as others would believe me to be, if only they would get to know me. I too feel pain, anguish, hurt and love.

Just feeling dazed, sad and confused...

The pompous MR. DARCY

PAKSHEEEEET!!! I found the man of my erotic dreams!!! weheheeheh! =)

and those eyes and accent will instantly melt one's heart..hahaaay!!!

Paradigm Shift

This is an excerpt by a poem Open Letters to the Filipino Artists by Eman Lacaba:

We are tribeless and all
tribes are ours.
We are homeless and all
homes are ours.
To the fascists we are the
faceless enemy
Who come like thieves in
the night, angels of deat:
the ever-moving, shining,
secret eye of the storm.

The road less traveled by
we've taken---
And that made all the difference:
The barefoot army of the wilderness
We should all be in time.
Awakened, the masses are
the Messiah.
Here among workers and
peasants our lost
Generation has found its
true, its only, Home

With the gentle evening breeze blowing and the crisp starry night above us, an artist-friend of mine, my gay princess sisterette and I were talking outside our house eons ago. Semantics, poetry and free-flow of ideas were abound that night. I watched both of my friends silently as they were conversing about art and life as if they were the only two people in the world (I should've left them and sought refuge in la-la land as romance wa in the making), when my artist friend said that he was on a limbo and that he was short of inspiration as to what images to paint or words to write so as to rekindle his passion for art. I was flabbergasted. I could not help but intrude in their conversation and voiced out my opinion. You see, i thought that he was more than an artist. Afterall, he was and is still a servant of the people. I expected him to be more than what the conventional stereotype of an artist is depicted. Yet, at that moment, i was a little disappointed.

You see, I have high regard for all kinds of artists. But only a few of them are really exceptional for me. Its not that I have a high standard for them, Its just that they have more power in shaping the consciousness of people through creative means. And that is a big deal for me. For I believe that these kinds of people are immortals, walking among mere mortals with the ability to give life and destroy those who are brave enough to grasp their being and enter their realm of colors and imagination.

But there are two sides of a coin. I also that they are there to depict the reality of the world in which they are trodding upon. To open the eyes of the mortals who refuse to acknowledge what cruelty, degradation and injustice that the bureaucracy has bestowed upon humanity. They are part saviors and tormentors of the people. To save them from eternal damnation of opression and to torment them with words and pictures to mirror to them what their true state is: abused and dying in the hands of the imperialists and the feudal and corrupt bureaucracy.

Yet, there is hope. Yes, I truly believe so. Freedom is not just a word with relative meaning. It may just be a word for idealists, for so called-democrats or for armchair revolutionaries... It is omnipresent. It is worth fighting for. It is worth dying for. And it is not just for the sake of romanticizing the struggle or for the mere sentimentality of it all.

The swirls of psychedelic colors, the intense passion of words either written or spoken, the heart-tugging songs can be conveyed as paradigm shifts as to what art should be. I do not believe that an artist shall only paint when one is in the mood, or inspired. A master of the will and the leader of men, he should be. Because it is in his work, that society, those who have conviction and hope for true freedom, justice and equality shall find expression and strength in their works to put thier thoughts into actions.

Art should not just be for the sake of art...but for the sake of our own salvation.

Sun Kissed Psychedelia Mode

It is the season of bronzed skin and luscious bodies again. The season to get high and happy. Yes, it is the season of blistering heat. Summer. Apollo is again smiling his kilo-watt smile as the days heat up, causing those clothes to be shed off, revealing more than it should. The godess Isis is in her sexiest element...the heat is on.

And we, in our usual trippy mode, were on our way to Dumaguete. The beach was beckoning us with the promise of relaxation (as well as Claro's wicked ways of relaxation). And so off we went to my favorite place in the world. Dumaguete.

The idyllic Italian-style beach house with the panoramic view of Cebu 15 minutes away via pumpboat), it was the ultimate vacation paradise of psychedelic trippers alike. For the whole weekend, nothing but the beach, sun, food, music, drinks and laugh-trip stuff were aplenty. A sthey say, let's eat, drink and be merry, for tomorow, we die. But i think that's not the case, I survived to tell the tale. =)

Lazyness in its entirety, it was one heluva trip to just sit back, relax and enjoy the sun. Nothing much happened except for the one significant fact that i got bitten by a dog. damn dog. but that did not stop me from enjoying the trip. hmmhmm... wishing for another dumaguete getaway..hahaaaay..

beach house blues.