tomatoeshoes and indigo sessions

Good Morning Baby

2006-08-31T20:55:00.000-07:00

A text message was sent to me: A law student once asked God..."why love comes so unexpectedly and leaves so suddenly but the efects are borne eternally...He answered..Because like domicile..love, when established, shall never cease to exist...when there is no intent to abandon.."

Yes. even if law students are perceived to be tough and serious, they are also human. Yes, we are also human. Who get hurt when people lie to us. Who cries when we miss someone so much. Who pretend that we are okay and bury our noses in our books when everything seems to crumble inside. I guess torture inside the classrooms by our terrorist teachers are a lil bit better than being hurt. Even if in both situations we emerge scathed, i prefer the classroom than an emotional breakdown anytime.

Ignorantia legis non excusat. Ignorance of the law excuses no one. And so is the law on emotions. Just because you fell in love or you risked your heart to somebody who haven't reciprocated your feelings, you cannot blame anybody for all the damages that has been done. Afterall, they say, know the rules before you play the game...True.

I beg to differ to those doomed romantics that falling in love is magical and way out of your control. Yes, I agree that you cannot control your feelings. But you can be prevented from getting hurt further if all tactics fail. You have to know the person and background...if he is free to hook up with you or just playing with your feelings...But if you want to play ahead without any rules on damages in case of heartache or restitution or reparation in cases of unfortuitous events of break-ups or of two-timing or cheating, then go ahead. Be my guest. I will not hinder you from doing so. Just make sure you come out alive and whole.

Im just tired of playing games. Of fleeting moments which leave you cold. I just want somebody to hold my hand firmly, even for a period of time..and tell me everything will be okay.

In the words of Bic Rungga and Dan Wilson..'' good morning baby i hope im gonna make it through another day''.

war of the words

2006-07-09T04:06:00.000-07:00

its been eons since i posted my thoughts. A lot have happened. The weight of the world is getting heavier each day. And i thought that living in the new era, discrimination would somehow be lost over the mantra of a university being "men and women for others" in this so called high quality education we are all paying shitloads for. BUt i guess I was dead wrong....

Being the new editor-in-chief of the publication, the pressure and the class struggle between the students and administration is a clear example of what we eternally quest for...justice. The student affairs coordinator is doing everything she can not to let me do my obligations and duties to the students. She is determined not to let me take-over the position...is she afraid of something?

Her interference is the start of the trend of campus press repression. I just wish that she would study first before attacking someone. A simple provision of the constitution would clearly put her in place (think: CJA ACT of 1991)...or maybe she doent know how to read...

Couldnt put words clearly...need to get away for a while from the real world..

snooooooozzzzzzzzz...

Im always happy when it rains

2006-06-08T05:27:00.000-07:00

Rainy days are expedcted ahead..im back in my hometown and im feeling drenched here. drenched with memories of cebu. memories of adventures. island godess rain-drenched in the city...i miss my life in the happy hippy island of cebu..but yes..reality bites.

mid-life crisis here... hafta think of what i should do. for my future...sun will shine again...

Sagada will just have to wait...

Dazed, Sad and Confused

2006-04-17T06:00:00.000-07:00

Im in so much pain right now. Heart wasted to a pulp. Twice I was made to believe that my affections have been reciprocated. Still, it is the same all over again. It was just a joke. a prank. an unexplained experiment in which he conducted to see if i was indeed capable of feeling love. I am only human. I am not as high and mighty as others would believe me to be, if only they would get to know me. I too feel pain, anguish, hurt and love.

Just feeling dazed, sad and confused...

The pompous MR. DARCY

2006-04-03T05:56:00.000-07:00

PAKSHEEEEET!!! I found the man of my erotic dreams!!! weheheeheh! =)

and those eyes and accent will instantly melt one's heart..hahaaay!!!

Paradigm Shift

2006-03-30T06:00:00.000-08:00

This is an excerpt by a poem Open Letters to the Filipino Artists by Eman Lacaba:

We are tribeless and all
tribes are ours.
We are homeless and all
homes are ours.
To the fascists we are the
faceless enemy
Who come like thieves in
the night, angels of deat:
the ever-moving, shining,
secret eye of the storm.

The road less traveled by
we've taken---
And that made all the difference:
The barefoot army of the wilderness
We should all be in time.
Awakened, the masses are
the Messiah.
Here among workers and
peasants our lost
Generation has found its
true, its only, Home

With the gentle evening breeze blowing and the crisp starry night above us, an artist-friend of mine, my gay princess sisterette and I were talking outside our house eons ago. Semantics, poetry and free-flow of ideas were abound that night. I watched both of my friends silently as they were conversing about art and life as if they were the only two people in the world (I should've left them and sought refuge in la-la land as romance wa in the making), when my artist friend said that he was on a limbo and that he was short of inspiration as to what images to paint or words to write so as to rekindle his passion for art. I was flabbergasted. I could not help but intrude in their conversation and voiced out my opinion. You see, i thought that he was more than an artist. Afterall, he was and is still a servant of the people. I expected him to be more than what the conventional stereotype of an artist is depicted. Yet, at that moment, i was a little disappointed.

You see, I have high regard for all kinds of artists. But only a few of them are really exceptional for me. Its not that I have a high standard for them, Its just that they have more power in shaping the consciousness of people through creative means. And that is a big deal for me. For I believe that these kinds of people are immortals, walking among mere mortals with the ability to give life and destroy those who are brave enough to grasp their being and enter their realm of colors and imagination.

But there are two sides of a coin. I also that they are there to depict the reality of the world in which they are trodding upon. To open the eyes of the mortals who refuse to acknowledge what cruelty, degradation and injustice that the bureaucracy has bestowed upon humanity. They are part saviors and tormentors of the people. To save them from eternal damnation of opression and to torment them with words and pictures to mirror to them what their true state is: abused and dying in the hands of the imperialists and the feudal and corrupt bureaucracy.

Yet, there is hope. Yes, I truly believe so. Freedom is not just a word with relative meaning. It may just be a word for idealists, for so called-democrats or for armchair revolutionaries... It is omnipresent. It is worth fighting for. It is worth dying for. And it is not just for the sake of romanticizing the struggle or for the mere sentimentality of it all.

The swirls of psychedelic colors, the intense passion of words either written or spoken, the heart-tugging songs can be conveyed as paradigm shifts as to what art should be. I do not believe that an artist shall only paint when one is in the mood, or inspired. A master of the will and the leader of men, he should be. Because it is in his work, that society, those who have conviction and hope for true freedom, justice and equality shall find expression and strength in their works to put thier thoughts into actions.

Art should not just be for the sake of art...but for the sake of our own salvation.

Sun Kissed Psychedelia Mode

2006-03-22T03:29:00.000-08:00

It is the season of bronzed skin and luscious bodies again. The season to get high and happy. Yes, it is the season of blistering heat. Summer. Apollo is again smiling his kilo-watt smile as the days heat up, causing those clothes to be shed off, revealing more than it should. The godess Isis is in her sexiest element...the heat is on.

And we, in our usual trippy mode, were on our way to Dumaguete. The beach was beckoning us with the promise of relaxation (as well as Claro's wicked ways of relaxation). And so off we went to my favorite place in the world. Dumaguete.

The idyllic Italian-style beach house with the panoramic view of Cebu 15 minutes away via pumpboat), it was the ultimate vacation paradise of psychedelic trippers alike. For the whole weekend, nothing but the beach, sun, food, music, drinks and laugh-trip stuff were aplenty. A sthey say, let's eat, drink and be merry, for tomorow, we die. But i think that's not the case, I survived to tell the tale. =)

Lazyness in its entirety, it was one heluva trip to just sit back, relax and enjoy the sun. Nothing much happened except for the one significant fact that i got bitten by a dog. damn dog. but that did not stop me from enjoying the trip. hmmhmm... wishing for another dumaguete getaway..hahaaaay..

beach house blues.

Yebaaaaa!

The house that housed the crazy-beautiful people

Stoked-out laught triiip!!!

SSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

2006-03-15T02:01:00.001-08:00

Sssshhhhhhh....it is the crackling sound of an empty radio station after it will be ransacked and shut down by the government because it aired such "seditious" comments. It is the sound of the million-dotted, ant-like black and white screen after the Malacanang will send its troops to padlock the TV stations because it continued to show news and current affairs regarding the civil unrest among the people against the corrupt and fascist leader. It is the sound of the wind rustling against the spread pages of a newspaper in an empty newsroom because their office will be raided and will be closed down by the military troops because they continued to print stories which conveyed the message of the people to the government: enough is enough.

After the lifting of PD1017, Aroyo announced that the government was stable. That the Communist insurgency was crushed. That there was peace again all over the country because those who opposed her rule was stabilized. That we could all go back to our normal lives again. Bite Me!

Define normal life under her abhorrent regime: Expanded Value Added Tax making th eprices of commodities sky-rocket almost every month. Prices of Oil heat up almost every week. Militant leaders and journalists dead almost everyday. Threats of your civil rights and liberties are hanging by a thread over your head every second of the day. Since when did you have a normal life under Macapagal-Arroyo's regime?

"Terrorism", "destabilizers", "insurgency"...these are all passe'. Can somebody take over Ignacio Bunye's job and present a more believable excuse other than these words you see on the news each day. It so boring. Even five-year olds can attest to that. The Communists are waging decades-old war against this corrupt and fascist government, in which they call it a Protracted People's war. Of course the palace cannot just crush the revolution, as what she coined them "communist-terrorists". It is waged with the principle based on the interest of national democracy. As long as the interest of the people is not served, then she will continue suffering the blows of the armed revolution with its revolutionary government, the CPP-NPA-NDF.

Now the true colors of a dictator is starting to show. One must be critical and be objective about the events that is happening, even if PD1017 was lifted...even if she declared the country in a "safe mode". Why is she curtailing press freedom? Why did she have the military raid the Daily Tribune even if it did not publishe any "editious" articles against her? Why is she sending out police officers to monitor the daily activities of some radio stations? Why was she giving a "warning" to the ABS-CBN station to discontinue covering the Fort Bonifacio stand-off? Why do the media men now have to carry guns for protection in fear of being the next target when they lambast her government on TV, Radio and Print? Why do the killings of journalists remain unsolved? Why is the Philippines considered the second deadliest country for a journalist to be in next to Iraq?

Media. The supposed fourth branch of the government, the bastion of truth, the beacon of light, is now being crushed under the dictatorial rule of Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo. Recalling the dark era of Martial Law, Marcos did the same to all media outlets save for 1, who will broadcast the supposed "redeeming" qualities of the fascist dictator. Fast-forward to the present rule, not much is different. Political dissenters are being killed like there's a killing spree going on ordered by Malacanang itself. Journalists are being hnted because they tell the truth about the true situation of our country and the government is lying through gritted teeth that everything is ok. That everything is normal.

Not once were the abductions and killings of militant mass leaders were solved. Now, 5 solons were being threatened of arrest under rebellion charges through false accusations and documents, not following due process according to the law. Congressman Crispin Beltran was arbitrarily arrested using a quashed and decades old arrest warrant dating back to 1985. How ridiculous and dumb can they get?!! even an ordinary student can understand that this is against the law and that this warrant is null and void! Even in the countrysides, peasants and farmers are gravely threatened and if not killed by the hands of the military just because they were suspected of supporting the armed revolution. Where is justice and due process in that?

The dangers of PD1017 is still over our heads. The curtailment of civil rights and liberties is present and human rights violations is escalating now more than ever. We should be more vigilant and guard our democratic rights more. The long night is still ahead of us. Let the courage of the masses and our quest for true freedom against this fascist, corrupt and fake puppet leader be our strength!

Sssshhhhh...the people's movement is getting stronger. quietly gaining strength to oust this dictator.

Defend our civil liberties and human rights!
Uphold Press Freedom!
Oust Gloria MAcapagal Arroyo NOW!

EVE

2006-03-08T03:10:00.000-08:00

When I was a kid, this song was played over and over in our casette recorder. It has kind of a mystical effect on me. I would have goosebumps and made me dance to its beat. It made me want to become a woman. A real and strong woman. Until now, this song remains to be one of my feel-good songs, my mantra, my conviction.

Kayo ba ay mga Maria Clara, mga Jule at mga Sisa
Na di marunong na lumaban
Kaapiha'y tanging iniluluha
Mga babae, kayo ba'y sadyang mahina?

Kayo ba ang mga Cinderella
Na ang lalake ang ang tanging pag-asa
Kayo nga ba ang mga Nena
Na ang hanabuhay ay pagpuputa
Mga babae, kayo ba'y sadyang pang-kama

Ang ating isip ay buksan
At lipuna'y pag-aralan
Paano nahubog iyong isipan
Na tanggapin kayo'y pang-libangan
Mga babae ito ba ay kapalaran?

Bakit ba mayrong mga Gabriela, mga Teresa at Tandang Sora
Na di umasa sa luha't awa
Sila'y nagsipaghawak ng sandata
Mga babae, ang mithiin ay lumaya

Bakit ba mayrong mga Lisa, mga Lilosa at mga Lorena
Na di natakot makibaka
At ngayo'y marami nang kasama
Mga Babae, ang mithiin ay lumaya

As old as time, the discrimination and violence against women is practiced. In this patriarchal society of ours, women has been treated with such disrespect that it is normal thing for people to look down on women, to treat them as slaves, as objects of sex and for purposes of decoration. Before I hear retorts faster than you can say "feminist!", reality points out that such truth is still abound today. And its not about shouting and preaching to the world about Girl power or the difference between chivalry of the opposite sex and women's lib. Its about stating the real and simple fact. That women should educate themselves and be regarded as an equal, as human beings.

It is quite important to note that the pseudo-president we have in Malacanang is a woman. Yet, she is devoid of the feminine qualities that hold women dear in this world. She continues to violate and disregard all forms of human rights, women's rights and allows such foreign imperialist countries to rape our country, inhumanely ravished our resources and left her barren and dry for her children. Speaking of rape, the Subic incident os still fresh in our minds. That is one clear example how Gloria Macapagal Arroyo blatanty favored those US Marines, contributing nothing for this young victim achieve justice for her soul, her life and her dignity as a woman. How I wish that she will be raped literally one day so she can feel the anguish and pain of that poor victim. ( But I guess that would be futile. She is very undesirable and repugnant to the very least...hmm, maybe we should just give her to those foreign pedophiles, she has the height of a kid anyway).

Human rights violations are escalating in the most alarming way. Statistics show that the abductions, massacres and tortures during her regime are far more higher than that of Marcos' reign. Her anti-people policies like Expanded Value Added Tax, Oil Deregulation Law and the pending Anti-terrorism bill are doing nothing but bringing the country down to the depths of hell. And the impact of these policies are taking its toll on the people. How can a woman provide for her family when the prices of commodities are sky-rocketing? How can women pay for her children's education when schools are being privitized because the insignificant government slashed the budget for education and gave the money to those insipid generals, intelligence operations, useless military exercises and wars on terror?! How can one find a decent job aside from talking your throats out in foreign-controled call centers when our govenrment cannot provide us with employment based on what we have earned our degree for?! How can one defend one's dignity when a woman resorts to prostitution because she cannot get a job and support her family?! When will this hell casued by her ambitious grasp for power end?!

Speaking of prostitution, these Daisies of the night (Daisy-siasi, daisy-siete, daisy-otcho,daisy-nueve) should not be trampled upon nor the Vitamin C's (Do-C, Tre-C, Kator-C, Kin-C-that's 12, 13, 14, and 15 years old respectively) should be devoured without the exact amount of compensation when a lascivious guy uses them. It is not their fault that they have been thrown in the lion's den at such a young age. Why else would they work in exchange for such a prize as loosing their dignity? They have to provide for their families, to make a living for their own. With no degree in education or even a diploma in elementary and highschool, such cruelty is to be regarded as a job. I still have hopes that the Republic Act for Anti-trafficking of Women and Children will be taken seriously by law enforcers. Otherwise, it will still be futile. Violence against women will still pervade. After all, when they were still kids, they never dreamed of becoming a prostitute when they grow up.

It all boils down to this: The root causes of the all these problems should be addressed. It is clear that the WOMAN in the palace, a squatter in the palace, is not worthy to lead the nation. The interests of the people, the masses, is not in her agenda. She should be ousted and punished for her crimes against the people..against us women.

In celebration of the International Women's day, I salute all women who have the courage to fight against her fascist regime. To all mothers who have borne children into this world who are joining the struggle against tyranny and oppression. To women who have such convictions as freedom and justice for this country. To all those women martyrs, who died for our country...To all of us, for being strong in times of uncertainty and danger.

Women of the world unite! resist violence, discrimination of all forms! down with the puppet and fascist regime of Gloria Macapagal Arroyo!

Abante! Babae! Palaban! Militante!

Freedom Under Seige

2006-02-27T05:23:00.000-08:00

In a state of panic, the iron hand of Gloria Macapagal Arroyo tightened its control over the Filipino people by declaring the nation under a state of emergency under Procalamtion 1017, in an effort to stop the growing mass movement out to stop her tyrannical rule. Under sheer paranoia and on the verge of insanity, her acts of desperation clearly shows that she is digging her own grave. When will she ever learn that by suppressing the civil rights and freedom, the people will unleash their power to punish such greedy, blood-thristy and power-grabbing leader to rot in the hells of history?

The abductions, killings and arrests of various mass leaders, lawyers, representatives of militant partylists and other civil personalities who are known to oppose her fascist regime is an act devoid of all sense and explanation in which only a madwoman whose desperate cling for power who ordered a bloodbath to happen to these innocent people who are fighting for justice and democracy.

Has she belittled the Filipino people so much that she has the audacity to cover her acts of dictatorship and pinpoint them to the leftist organizations as insurgency or rebellion? What gave her the idea that our countrymen will just accept such an excuse that what she is doing is for the good of the economy and for the country? (Oh, there's one i know, that dog named Michael Defensor that she has which will roll around and fetch anything at the bidding of his master Gloria Arroyo)

There is this universal and scientific rule of cause and effect. It is simple really. Very easy to understand. Even pre-schoolers can undersand it. I don't know why a former Harvard student and an economist has a hard time learning that lesson. The foreign economic plicies implemented by the Arroyo administration in connection with the IMF-World Bank, dictated by the Imperialist US, then it should explain clearly why the masses are bound to sweep her off the halls of Malacanang. Instead of focusing her efforts to redeem the economic situation of the people and the country, the armed wing of her puppet government went on a killing spree against those who oppose her corrupt regime. The voice of the people remains to be unheard. Even such demands as a 125-peso increase in the daily wage of the workers and the scrapping of Oil Deregulation law ( as the source of all evil of high prices. The bill itself was authored by her when she was a senator) are being snubbed by her government, a clear manifestation of the evil that lurks in her. The rampant human rights violations is abominable. A form of fascism and terrorism in the vilest form.

And now, our freedom is being curtailed under the guise of of her so called state-of-emergency. Her paranoia has driven her up the wall, unleashing the demon that the Filipino people has fought against last 20 years. History has taught us that no tyrant has ever succeded in crushing democracy in our country. That no tyrant has survived to live till the end of his reign.

Her days are counted. Until then, the wrathof the people is slowly gaining strength...the calm before the storm. She should press the panic button.

Virus in My Brain

2006-02-21T02:41:00.000-08:00

Padangat ko na kung naay Political Educational Discussions Pleeeeeaaassse!!! Apila ko! Na-hang kow karon! Blanko! pakshet!!!

Suyaa sa Malacanang karon oi. Gi-himo pa ug excuse ang paint thinner sa explosion. Wala najud silay mabuhat na excuse. According to my highly intellectual twisted sister, maypa gi-hire siya sa Malacanang, mas makabuhat pa siya ug excuse kaysa anang paint thinner brouhaha.

Next up! Anti-terrorism bill on the loose. Before na ipapasa, warning lang jud daan, Martial Law is here. Itago nalang nato sa pangalang Anti-terrorism Bill. Pero Bisan sa una pa man jud, MArtial Law na. Grabe na ang political repression, daghan na kaayo gipang patay na mga aktibista ug mga journalists. 2nd most dangerous place for journalists atong nasod..2nd ba? First naman tingali jud.

Sige lang. magsulat ra ko ug daghan. Hang pa lagi karon...kayasa.

" Any person under the age of thirty, who having any knowledge of the existing social order, is not a revolutionist, is an inferior."

Nabasahan nako somewhere...made me think.

Gugmang Giatay and other delicacies of insanity

2006-02-10T04:10:00.000-08:00

A wise little boy once had a heart-to-heart talk with his father who was asking him what was wrong. The boy answered "...Im in love." The father heaved a sigh of relief saying that he thought it was something worse. The boy retorted back, "Is there something worse than the agony of being in love?"...that hit me home.

I am not writing this piece just because the day of hearts and pining is upcoming. Although in my case, my state is under the category of pining and moping. Truly, that boy should be put side by side with cupid. Together, they could put a face to the one true emotion which causes mayhem to the consummers world every February and enlighten most lovestruck people with what love actually feels.

I have nothing against the laws of supply and demand of flowers, chocolates, cards, stuffed toys and other crazy gifts shopping malls and put-up stalls display on the Hearts day. I think that most guys are thanking the cosmos for them. The Romeos actually have no inkling what to give to their Juliets on this day. Although it is frustrating sometimes, but this is where the excuse comes in: Boys will always be dense boys. But you gotta give credit to some who actually would give thier limbs (no not life...I havent encountered those aliens yet) to create something wonderful and special to their ladybugs.

Cheesy songs are on air, playing over and over the radio. It gives me the goosebumps (the bad kind of goosebumps. Yes, there are good and bad ones. the bad ones come crawling out of your skin driving you to the point of smashing the radio. I am not violent but please, try listening to Aegis' songs or one of those song titles turned to movie titles. Sheesh!) Nostalgia and teary doe-eyed looks. These are common ailments of the people today. Look on the bright side, despite the dire economic situation our country is in, people actually are feeling that love is in the air, unrequited one or not. We are after all, humans.

The point of this insanity is, I am in LIKE. Trully madly in-like with someone. And for me, this is dangerous. It is that stage wherein uncertainties are abound with crushed hopes and clumsiness. Yes, it is an unrequited LIKE. I am having this illusion that we like each other. At least one of us is having an illusion. In other words, dreams. Wishes. If you dream, then you strive to make it come true. You are giving effort into making something work between the two of you. You persevere. You hope. You learn. You survive. Who knows, the illusion might become reality. Like some people would say, be careful what you wish for, it might come true. And yes, this is one of the agonizing parts in liking someone. The confusion, the madness, the beauty and profoundness of it all.

Yup. There is nothing worse than the agony of being in love. Wait! there is! the fact that you know that you are going to die tomorrow is an agonizing thing too (that's what my crazy Twinnie Fixer Yow said). But I don't think its really that agonizing at all. If you are prepared to die, that you will sacrifice your life and die for a cause, then I don't think its agonizing. I have even prepared my funeral song. So anyway, the object of my affection will be leaving. And he does not even know that I am agonizing over him. And No. The question of telling him what I feel is not even an option. There are certain rules about this, which is very difficult to discuss. And No. Its not even about flirting and sending him flowers and love poems and stuff. We will leave that to the higher powers above (and I dont mean the cosmos either). But still, I think he has an idea of what I feel, because I am kind of expressive and vocal of what I feel. besides, passions and emotions are not meant to be hidden. It's human nature for our feelings to shine through. But the impending doom of his absence is eating me up. And there is nothing I can do about it but wait for him to take what's left of my broken and already wasted heart and leave...and we are not even together.

I am not sourgraping here or something. Yes, there is something worse than the agony of being in love...and that is not being loved back, irregardless of all those selfless love bullshit other cowardly people preach. I am just sad and lonely...dazed and confused. ( I even put nightcream instead of sunblock on my face this morning while thinking of him!...I hate this. This thing caused me much oil on my face and additional pimples due to absent-mindedness over him! Kayasa!).

The space between your heart and mine, is where you'll find me hiding waiting for you..-dave matthews band.

So go, take my broken heart and leave....

Toledo Twist

2006-02-01T04:48:00.000-08:00

It was kind of an office work slash vacation for me. I just wanted to get out of the city for a little while, and when the opportunity to check out the coal-fired power plant and the community within the vicinity came, I just packed my bags, invited my cosmic twinnie to come along and enjoy the ride!

Toledo. Just a few hours ride from the city. The moment we arrived there, I was already pooped. Im not exactly a morning person, but i definitely woke up earlier because my partner-in-crime told me to be early! there I was waiting for him with Twinnie at the appointed time and he was 30 minutes late! wasted time over dreams of pixies, adventures and lost loves...wait! erase that last phrase! ...hmmm..of white sandy beaches and hunks! yebaaaaaaa! heheheh!

Anyway, the first house we visited was that of a former power plant worker. My crime partner Vince did all the talking while Twinnie and I just basically yakked by ourselves. yeah, we did listen to their discussion also...a little...I think. Kidding. And then, Mr. Kipoy served us a meal of fresh Danggit fish! Yuuuuuum!! I almost choked on my food for eating very fast! And Twinnie too was silent all the time, concentrating on devouring her food.

My partner in crime--THE VINCE

The afternoon went as we planned, visited various people who would be willing to join the campaign against coal-fired power plants as these plants are harmful to the environment, seriously causing damage to one's health or the entire community's generation after generation. Climate change is inevitable. And what you see on the news in which you think could only happen in other places, like flashfloods and hurricanes, can really happen right before your eyes. Worse, these foreign companies are taking advantage of our natural resources in which they let the Filipino people pay for the energy we actually own. Imperialism is such a heavy word, but the Filipino people have been suffering this heavy burden far too long.

The campaign for renewable energy is ongoing. There are many sources of energy in which the people can use and not pay with such high costs. As we know, the Philippines is filled with vast energy resources waiting to be tapped. the only major block is that the government is actually lapping up other foreign companies' asses and giving out Environmental Compliance Cerificates like they are some freebies out to poison the people. The government doesnt even take enough measurements to make sure that these power plants function properly so as not to endanger the environment and the people's lives...Well, another fact, this governemnt is after all a puppet government, with anti-people policies which only serve the interest of the majority, Uncle Sam and the GATT-WTO... So if you wanna join the campaign for a better environment, please do so. Just tell me.

But the best part of the campaign was we got to party at Toledo. THIS is another side of the story. We did not really expect that it was the fiesta of toledo, so when we got there, the city was in a festive mood! little children in poufy colorful costumes were running around, getting busy for the parade! There even was a procession of the Sto. Nino when we got there! Talk about traffic in the city, that even the outskirts of the queen city was not spared. But anyway, its for an event so, we didn't mind. We pretended we were tourists and toured the quaint city, following the marching bands wherever they went.

We were kinda tired to go out and we nearly gave in to the call of our comfy beds when Vince suggested we check out the gig happening at the nearby school. At first I was reluctant to go because, you know, gigs in a small town or city are really not that fun in the first place, wth bands playing song dating back to my high school times which I heard countless times at some insignificant bars or something like that. If im going to hear one more rendition of "Do You Believe in Me" by Eric Gadd, then Exit..stage left. Fortunately, I thought that we were new in the place, we had nothing to do but watch cable TV (which was actually fine for me because we had no cable at home anyway), might as well go out and hunt for the night. Afterall, we were all night creatures. And so the night begun...

When we got to the event, we entered the back gate of the school, we didnt realize that it was the backstage! and so we were there,with the other "VIP" guests of the area. There were matrons trying to dress and look young, guys who were pseudo-fashionistas trying to be cool by parading their gym-sculpted biceps (what in the world?!), cool PAs like twinnie's friend Patrick os SMB (who gave us booze! kewl!), Baranggay Councilors who were kind enough to offer us beer (Yebaaa!), an army officer who i think is planning to run for the local office becaue he practically shook everybody's hands! politicians and the army. Just goes to show what a corrupt system we have.

Patrick of SMB

But still, booze was flowing, and my favorite Cebuano power-rock band Powerspoonz performed! (their song Crazy is my favorite hands-down, from their new album due out soon). But woe of all woes! after Powerspoonz, a showband performed all those R&B disaster songs we hear in obscure bars just to make people dance and get on the dancefloor! Worst of all, Vince, my partner-in-crime kept on singing MY HUMPS all day long!! even during the gig!

group shot with akit

of Powerspoonz

Fresh Fish, down-to-wearth-people, the crisis of climate change and the effects of powerplants, fiesta galore, Powerspoonz and My Humps...one helluva crazy-beautiful day!

With Akit of Powerspoonz!

Yay Twinnie! Pwerspoonz background Yebaaa!good times!

B-E-A-M Smile!

2006-01-26T04:02:00.000-08:00

Im so ecstatic today. =) just because.

The little son of my housemate Efeng remembered me. He was looking for me because he wanted to visit Cebu City (and he is presently in Carcar and that he was saying to his mum that Ate YR can babysit for him while mum will be working.) Fuzzy, warm, chocolatey sundae feeling inside. Its always touching when a little kid, a charming and intelligent one at that remembers you. My nephews and neices hardly remmeber my name! and here comes Mac, whom I only met during Sinulog...and he instantly remembers me. =) Just a happee thought...

A text message from somebody, even if its just a simple concern whether you have eaten your dinner or not totally means a lot...

This is crazy..my face is nearly splitting into two...mura kog gapamaligya ug ngipon! i can't stop smiling!...and im not even drunk! =)

aahhh..life. just one of those moments. ok.im gonna stop now.

Rock-a-bye-baby

2006-01-20T05:07:00.000-08:00

Last sinulog was a blast! although I didnt get to go to such big-time parties, I opted to watch the bands play in Ayala instead. Im so hungry for such musical acts because when I was in my hometown, the music industry was just defined to just r&B and heavy metal genre. It is very frustatrating coz' music lovers dont have much option but to either just watch them jump around onstage or just dance and grind with such lovely ladies. Hmm..it would be a nice choice if you choose the latter especially for some of my hungry-for-booty male friends. But I opted to just get bored, watch the rockstars play onstage, drink beer and hang-out with my femme-fatale friends. Anyway, I watched Imago last Sinulog and really, this girl, Aia, is a walking epitome of SEXY- COOL.. and I love the pink shoes! And so I just listened to my favorite song most of the time now..hope I'll get over this phase..

Akap
Nagtatanong bakit mahirap sumabay sa agos ng iyong mundo

Nagtataka

Simple lang naman sana

Ang buhayKung ika'y matino

Sabihin sa akin lahat ng lihim mo

Iingatan ko Ibaling sa akin ang problema mo kakayanin ko

Pikit mata kong iaalay ang buwan at araw pati pa sapatos kong suot

Nagtatanong simple lang naman sana ang buhay kung ika'y lumayo

Sasamahan ka sa tamis Sasamahan ka sa dilim Sasamahan ka hanggang langit

Sasamahan ka sa tamis Sasamahan ka sa pait Sasamahan ka sa dilim Sasamahan ka hanggang langit... Sasamahan ka.

...I would have given anything for this guy. But I guess he didn't want the sun and the moon, even my shoes...=) ..he was cold, aloof and heartless. He was there all the time with me, but he wanted somebody else...Pain, just like rain drenching your body. Icy, sweet, cold rain...

Suntok Sa Buwan
Hindi mo ba alam

Damdamin ko'y pinagtakpan

pag kasama ka'y suntok sa buwan

Di mo nga alam

Mundo mo nga'y iyong tignan

Kung ganyan, walang pupuntahan

Hindi ko 'to gusto

Pero 'wag kang lalayo

Itanong mo sa akin

At tatanungin ko rinKung ika'y aamin

Lahat ay gagawin

'Di mo napapansin

Kailangan mo akong dinggin

'Di habang buhay ika'y aantayin

Ito'y aking hiling

At sana naman ay tanggapin

Ng puso ko'y 'di nabibitin.

In the society wherein showing emotion is just a game as a foreplay to access the pleasures of the skin, you hardly know what is true anymore. As Portishead would put it: "Give me a reason to love you, give me a reason to be a woman"...

Im tired of all these games...

Red Thoughts

2006-01-19T02:43:00.000-08:00

Feeling sentimental today. For that, for the whole day until I came here in the office, I listened to the progressive songs my friend has in his computer. There is this one song that really made my day. Inday, my partner in HR-NGO work texted this song when I left for Cebu. I guess it summed up all our adventures, lessons and the things we have learned from the masses. And it really made me cry...

Ang daloy ng oras ay di mapatid
Ang wakas na awitan ay palapit na palapit
kailan lang nagtagpo ay maghihiwalay
Pinag-ugnay tayo ng awit ng buhay

Babaunin ko ang iyong mga ngiti
At ang mga kwento ng puso at himagsik
At kung hindi man tayo muling magkita
Awitin natin ang awit ng paglaya

Hanggang sa muli mahal kong kasama
Hanggang sa muli sa pakikibaka
Ang nga hakbang natin ang magkaugnay
At wala tayong ibang hangad kundi tagumpay

Kaya't paalam na salamat sayo
Di ko malilimot ang mga araw na ito
Isang kabanata sa buhay mga sandaling makulay
Ang mabuhay sa pag-ibin mo...

After our work, my friend Inday and I would go to Macabalan (the area near the pier) and hang out at her brother's parokya. We would sing songs, play the guitar, talk, swim and so on...(speaking of swimming, I conquered the pier area! i was able to swim there! yebaaaa! ..well, its a big accomplishment for me because, well, its the pier area. Its supposed to be very dirty. But it's a long story..another topic). And so, with every rally, every activity, Inday was always my partner, my buddy.

I learned that she will be going away. She's going to finish her studies somewhere. And although Im happy for her, im a little bit sad because it was with her that i found solace amidst the crisis the country was going through. She helped me carry my burden especially when i was pressured at work. She made me laugh and we would do crazy things in which we would be in big trouble when our bosses find out. We would sing out loud to our hearts content in the office in which we would be scolded because well, yeah, we are too loud. (I admit, I have a singing voice equivalent to that of kermit the frog, but Inday's was much better!). There are countless things i would like to sare about our misadventures together. And it all boils down to this, that Inday is my emo punching bag, a comrade, a sister and a true friend. Lucky me! =)

I guess I just miss my HR staff days...nothing can ever compare to it when you are serving the people. To be in the midst of struggle for justice, peace and true freedom...

Coffee for Freedom!

2006-01-18T01:40:00.000-08:00

Twinnie Druggie and I went out with the older brother of my very good friend Jai yesterday. Thads is very different from his brother. He is much crazier than Jai, although when I first met him in CDO, he was very quiet and he kept to himself. He did not look like he was a law student too...

So, my boring and sleepy night turned out to be fun! we talked about the intricacies of the lawyer's meeting here in Cebu, my misadventures with the prostituted women when I was a volunteer in a women's crisis center, his walking exercise during sinulog with a bunch of lawyers, Jai's upcoming marriage in which he himself is not sure about his brothers decision (but it was his brother's decision, so he just shrugged it off) and so on and so forth...

When Twinnie Druggie went home and we downed our last bottle of beer, he wanted to go get some coffee...brewed coffee specifically. I never did get the point of other people wanting to get a cup of coffee after drinking lotsa alcoholic beverages. We drink so that we will get drunk and you know, sleep or whatever. The point is, coffee makes you hyper..alive..kickin'. And beer, makes you groggy, tipsy, sleepy and well...off to la-la-land or wherever bed or place you wanna go. So..go figure.

Around 3 in the morning, We went to Big Bucks as to follow his order lest he would spill my secrets to his brother (which is not a good idea because Jai is the only lovable monster who have the guts to laugh at my problems and make fun of me even when I was totally serious in pouring my heart out to him!). When we arrived in the cafe, he was a little furious because they did not serve brewed coffee! (what kind of coffee shop do not serve a simple brewed coffee by the way?! what if some people just like it strong and without frill?!). And so we ordered those frothy coffees and the guy at the counter asked for his name. He was taken aback by this so he immediately pointed at me! The guy looked at me quizically and waited impatiently for my name. I instantly blurted out "Freedom" (what the?!...). Thadz just looked at me, ready to burst out laughing but immediately went to find a table for both of us. Good thing or I would have just poked him in the eye for it...

When I arrived at the table, we just laughed and laughed that he almost fell off his chair! Freedom?!! where the hell did that came from, he asked?! I guess I just blurted out the first name that came out of my mind. And I guess that I always loved the name freedom...Besides, i have reservations about giving my real name to strangers, even if its a safe place as a coffee shop. Who knows, maybe he is a sociopath intelligence officer pretending to be a barista, whose sole purpose is to pry on the private lives of innocent victims whom they might suspect as terrorists or members of the Al-Qaida group. hmmm...Anyway, Thadz complained that it was only here in Cebu that he encountered such coffee shops which asked for the customer's name prior to ordering drinks. I guess it was a different "liberating" experience for him.

You see, eons ago, my twisted sisters and I, together with our friends, were trying to conjure up outrageous names which we would use in a coffee shop so it would sound weird coming from a barista. You know, just to have plain crazy fun! here is what we came up:

1. Name: Free (short for freedom) - "Coffee for FREE!!"

2. Name: YU (short for Yolanda) - "Coffee for YU!"

3. Name: MEE (maybe short for...Medande?) - "Coffee for MEE!"

4. Name: Life (no need to explain) - "Coffee for LIFE!"

We are still trying to think of even funnier names...in case of another coffee misadventure! =)

Cheers from a Fallen Angel

2006-01-11T04:30:00.000-08:00

Its a little late to show photos of christmas cheers. But it was one helluva christmas!! and i was th only one to abide the rules of our christmas crazy christmas costume party! =) check it out! =)

Yeah! even fallen angels have gifts!

and even fallen angels have Santa Nanay and crazy-beautiful sister named Kuki. =)

And the super loves of my life! Paulo-hippie-brother and Master H.-Paking (very very good chef!! =) yeba!)

But as you can see, they too are crazy..psychedelic-crazy-beautiful! =) like me! heheheheh! =)

Just chillin' out and relaxing outside...in other words! just partying! or..gapamaligya mi ug ngipon. barato lang! =)

Do these look like law students to you?!!! More of like patients from the mental hospital! Dramatic actor pa ang isa! =) Good Luck! ...

just thinking hapi tawts now...even if i am a fallen angel..more of like a demon now i think..just seeing these pictures..make my sane-psycho existence worth it. =)

One With the Earth

2006-01-10T02:24:00.000-08:00

I like my twinnie's farmer's feet...It's truly simple. Truly beautiful. Truly humble..One with the earth...

--------------------------

Speaking of farmer's feet, watching the Video documentary of the struggle and massacre of the Hacienda Luisita workers is enough to march into the streets and demand the ouster of the fake president Gloria Macapagal Arroyo. Entitled "Sa Ngalan ng Tubo", the documentary showed why the farmers and the workers of the HLI (Hacienda Luisita Incorporated) put up a just battle against the big comprador-landlords, the Cojuangcos. With only 9.50 pesos as their wage for a day, working only for three days a week, how can one live with that budget, with at least four mouths to feed in a family? Yet, the Cojangcos were merciless, sending out members of the Armed Forces of the Philiipines and the PNP to disperse the frontlines of the peasants who staged a strike against this elite family to listen to their demands. The military and the police opened fire at the peasants. It was a massacre, and they were defenseless against the high-pwered guns and tanks and tear-gases of the forces of the military and the PNP. But the media was not really that keen to cover it. The government even blamed the NPA of infiltrating the ranks of the peasants by making up a story that they found a gun and live ammunitions from their side during the violent dispersal. But when you watch the video, the picture is clear. The only weapon the peasants have was their courage to fight for their rights as workers of the HLI. For Human Rights.

The HLI conflict was resolved by the Supreme Court entitling the workers of a wage increase and the restatement of the workers who have been previously terminated for staging a strike and for the cancellation of the Stock Distribution Options, which is the cause of misery and poverty of the HLI workers. But these have could not have been achieved without the peasants' determination to fight for justice and human rights against the fascist, anti-people regime of Macapagal-Arroyo and the elite landlord-comprador Cojunagco-Aquino family. Many have died for this struggle, and many more were injured, as it always will when the struggle is for democracy and true freedom. But their deaths will not come to waste, as for every banner raised, for every red flag waved, these martyrs will forever live on, for freedom. For Justice. For peace.

------------------------

The end song of the Hacienda Luisita Documentary is one of my favorite songs. When I die, I want this song to be sung in my wake, it goes like this: =)

Sabay natin itanim ang binhi ng paglaya sa bayan

Sabay natin diligin ng pag-ibig na agad ay umusbong

Isang araw ay aanihin natin ang tagumpay

At sabay nating tatamasahin ang masaganang buhay

Sabay nating itanim ang binhi ng paglaya sa bayan

Sabay natin diligin ng pag-ibig na agad ay umusbong

Isang araw ay aanihin natin ang tagumpay

at sabay nating tatamasahin ang mapayapang buhay

kaya't wag kang titigil at susuko

sa pagpunla't paghahasik ng kalayaan

Ang ating pagkakaisa'y patibayin

At ang ating pagkilos ay lalong pag-alabin!

Passions and Pablo Neruda

2006-01-05T04:36:00.000-08:00

Love Sonnet XVII
by Pablo Neruda

I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as certain dark things are loved,secretly, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving
but this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.

I will totally faint if somebody will kneel in front of me and recite me that poem! okay, okay..im just being melodramatic. i think we are all entitled to be melodramatic once in a while. it adds spice in our daily existence..(weeheehee!)...

Just feeling romantic also. Even if I dont have somebody to feel romantic about...technically. But there is Somebody out there. He just doesnt know that I exist. What if I send him this poem? what would he think? what would guys think? Guys are such complex persons. One thing they show affection, and if you start to reciprocate, they're gone faster than you can say "Playstation". But Im not trying to be some kind of fire-breathing-man-hating woman here. Just a question. Go figure.

The poem just makes you sigh and believe that there were people who can come close to defining what love is. In all its semantics, the word love has been used and abused in almost every possible way that people just take it for granted. Even saying "I love you" is devoid of meaning through Man's finest creation, technology. Can you hear your heart flutter when you receive a message saying "luv u so mch" just so you can save on your phone bill? Need I say more?

Finding the courage to admit that we are weak and that we are powerless over love that without knowing how or when or where to start loving that person, without pride or question is a gargantuan feat. Man is proud by nature. And to reduce one's self over this thing called love is something short of amazing. Think...you have become selfless. You actually swallow your pride and admit your mistakes. You actually have become a human being...

I have been hurt. Countless times over a guy. Whether they knew I existed or not. But I guess, im just having positive hopes now... The truth is, im having a hard time forming words as to how i can convey my feelings when I read this poem. Im just being melodramatic you know. It is such a beautiful, beautiful poem that I just would like to share and that maybe, if you read it, you will fall in love too. Even if it is to no one in particular. Just feel-food-psychedelic-happy-magical poem...it's just...Sigh!!!!

Just read it...and Sigh.

shinyhapipeople

2006-01-04T03:17:00.000-08:00

yes! finally! i have my blogsite, thanks to my cosmic twinnie, FixerYow, i can write anything and everything my crazy mind can think of for all you people who are interested to join me in my crazy world...

Still having a hang-over from all those christmas cheers and i miss my home so much. Its such a cliche, but still, there is no place like home. Even if sometimes, your home can be a source of heartache. But still, it is a sanctuary. It is a place for you to feel safe...sometimes.

The last Christmas celebration for me was short of ecstatic. You see, the reconciliation part with my Tatay was worth every tear I have shed from our baseless argument which spun out of control. Underneath all those insinuations of my being a bad liberated daughter, was the political class of ideologies. But I know that someday, I will shed tears again. For him... for my principles.

But, nevertheless, it was a happy christmas. I went to the beach, learned how to do the bodyboard (Siargao! here I come!), learned how to cook! (yes! thank the god of small and big things!), and did all sorts of silly stuff. Our friend Pepper "Master H. " Hippona came to our house and cooked for us a delicious pasta..hmmm...oh, and i met this totally psychedelic gorgeous guy (forgive my gushing but he is worth gushing...). And he is the man of my dreams..just in my dreams..

I promised myself that I will do better this year. To being more daring in terms of adventure, to free myself from inhibitions, to get a tattoo, to save money! travel (go to Sagada and Siargao. and no i am not going there just because of Judy Ann Santos and Piolo Pascual!..something more..go figure) more and do better on political work..my brain is getting dusty and hazy in this area and it needs to be cleaned and used once again. The country is in a state of turmoil despite the government's statement that the economy is on the rise once again. This kind of government, a liar and a puppet, should not go unpunished...It should feel the wrath of the people once more and oust this dishonorable woman who calls herself the President.

Anyway, To full moons and converstions, to childhood dreams and fond affections, to remembered loves and brief jealousies, to true friends and worthy enemies, to cool mornings and glorious sunsets, to family friends and country, to freedom, justice, peace and liberty...and all that will be..here is to 2006!